Learning to distrust

There was a time when I was a kid, my parents used to drop me at any aunt's or a neighbor' place for sometime till they came back. Those days are over now. Watching the news over and over, about rape and sexual abuse stories, people have learned to distrust every neighbor and relative.

Delhi gang rape case made me realize that its a good idea to buy a pepper spray and keep it in my bag always; especially when I go out in the evenings. The news has had its effect. The false sense of security that we had about ourselves and others has vanished. We are left with no option but to distrust anyone and everyone around us.

Although the awareness is for good, but I am sad that instead of making concrete changes, we have succumbed to the pressure by only learning to distrust.

I NeeD InSpirAtion

Looking at my life
Through a distorted glass
of shattered dreams
abandoned hopes
and unfulfilled expectations
of the past

I can reach to no answer
to conclude why it all happened
and neither can I define
what did befell on me

Was it real?
Or a terrible nightmare
which is still going on..
Can you shrug me
and wake me up
from the bad dream?

I am apalled
I am yet in self-denial
I can't yet accept
the events as true
the nightmare to be real

Separating is hard,
separation breaks one down
till now I hadn't felt
that separation does
much more than that
it tears you apart
and then you walk
with mind numbing solitude
and nothingness in you path

I am stuck
in an impasse
I wonder if I am
really not in
the actions I am doing
just observing
my own self
from a distance
and letting things
run by themselves

In ending
the attachment with you
I have detached me
from my own self
just to avoid
feeling the pain
anyhow, anyway

I was awake
in the early hours
of the morning
watching you sleep
caressing you
on your forehead
wishing the moment
should not pass
not wishing to let go
whatever happened
Thinking hard, that
where did the love,
disappear in trouble?
how did it get replaced
by animal fury
and we become the people
we aren't at all

these are the questions
haunting my mind..

I am in dire need of
some inspiration
to get myself up,
gather the broken fragments
of the dream we were in
and somehow continue to live
with the broken shards
of a scarred heart.

Dormant Dreams

Years ago,

I had woke up one morning
vivdly remembering
a beautiful dream
I was walking in a mountain trail
and crossing a stream
in an awe-inspiring scenery
I was shivering in cold
but happy indeed.

Just a dream
which hasd been dormant
in my mind
for all these years
I wonder if
I'll ever fulfill the dream?

Living in the Moment

As time went by,
year after year;
I slowly realized
to the worst of my fears:


there was so much left to do,
and so little done..
I had lost grip of time,
my whole life was undone.

That's when I remembered,
an old rusty advice.
Living in the moment,
only could help me rise.


Out of the quicksand,
back in the race,
an advice neglected as bland,
had thrown me on my face


Since then I have changed;
there’s a lot less worry
Living in the moment,
I am in no hurry


Am a lot more happy
and am no longer stuck,
living in the moment,
my life’s outta rut.

Its a Long Way to Home

Its a long way to home,
From dawn till dusk,

With the rays sprouting
and dying at the day's end,
From the new beginning
to the invariably same end,

The walk to the bus stop,
waiting amidst the crowd,
The stampede to catch a bus
Pulled out of the bus
in a stream of people
by the rushed crowd
My stop has come

The thoughts unfurling
As I continue to walk
towards my office
In absorbed solitude
To begin my day's work.

Its a long way to home,
From the slogging
Facing a brightly lit screen,
For hours, sometimes dozing
and sometimes straining my eyes
Its a long way to home

The drowsiness with the passing hours,
the uneasiness creeping over me
the eager waiting for every mealtime
As a veritable pause in the gruntwork
Its still a long way to home.

Finally the time to resume my journey
Changing buses,
The walk back home,
Amongst the desolate faces
All wishing to reach sooner,
Its a long way to home for everybody

Nearer to home now,
Walking closer each moment,
It occurs to me, out of the blue
"There's no one waiting for you"

I reach an empty room,
With furnitures and all
But deadly quiet, not a soul
This can't be a home.

Home is still a long way..
A destination yet unknown.